Friday, February 14, 2014

The Rest of the Story

For our first Valentine’s Day, I took Julie to The Joshua Wilton House.  It was the fanciest restaurant in Harrisonburg and boy did we feel fancy.  I think it went a long way in impressing her, but also set the bar a bit high for future Valentine’s  Day’s.

Julie was a server at Chili’s for most of college.  I would go in from time to time to sit in her section.  She would give me what she could for free, dessert, drinks, maybe an appetizer.  But all the savings was lost for me because I would tip very generously.  Hey, I am not above a bit of bribery to make sure a girl that I really liked, liked me in return.

Privacy was hard to come by when we both had roommates in our efficiency type dorm rooms.  I remember once taking Julie out for ice cream and to watch the sun set.  After we finished our ice cream, one thing led to another and Julie and I stated to make out sitting on a hill by an elementary school.  I guess one of the neighbors was suspicious of us being there, so our brief moment of privacy was interrupted by a police siren. 

I don’t remember exactly when it was, but there was a weekend when we organized both of our parents to come to JMU for the weekend.  Unbeknownst to us, both sets of parents, on their own, thought that we were going to announce an engagement.  At the time, this seemed crazy to Julie and I.  We were young and having fun with the leisure of college life.  We loved each other.  We spent a ton of time together, but marriage wasn't on our radar screen.  Looking back though, it would have made a lot of sense.  If either of us stopped long enough to think about it, we were made for one another.  Our relationship just seemed to fit.  That, added to the fact that my future Father in law passed away just 2 weeks before our wedding, makes hindsight on this clear as day.

Graduation time came, and in a time in my life when all seemed gray and hazy, one thing was clear ... whatever was to come, be it greatness or failure, pleasant or somber, simple or foreboding ... I needed Julie by my side, in my corner, cheering me on, each step of the way.   

“May I have your blessing, to marry your daughter?” I know … a bit old fashioned.  But it was the right thing to do and a direct request of my future bride.  I knew Julie’s parents well and didn't expect anything but full throated support … but still.  I was at Julie’s house for a weekend and I pulled John and Trudy aside and asked if it would be OK if I would marry their daughter.  Trudy actually jumped, clapped her hands and cheered.  John gave me a big smile and a firm handshake.  I felt so lucky to be joining such a fun and loving family.


I am a rather impulsive person, for being so introspective.  I take my time in making a decision, but when my mind is made up, I tend to leap right in to get it done.  This led to a small problem when it came to the proposal.  We were lounging around my apartment, talking about the future.  This was after graduation and everyone had pretty much left school for the summer or for good.  It came to a point in the conversation that I thought would be an appropriate time to ask Julie to marry me.  Now, I am going to pause here to let you know that I was somewhat naive to importance that is placed on the proposal.  I want to make it clear, Julie did not turn me down, but the stipulation was attached to the “Yes”, that the proposal would be repeated.  Turns out that I ended up proposing about a dozen more times over the next year or so, the last being delivered by roses to her changing room at the church on our wedding day.  I came to quite enjoy asking Julie to marry me over and over, hearing her say “Yes” every time!

The first time I saw Julie on our wedding day was at the back of the church, at the end of the isle, walking toward me to become my wife.  That moment will forever be etched in my memory as the first time I understood what it would be to see an angel coming toward you.  She was stunning in her white dress and had a smile on her face that brought tears to my eyes.  I am so lucky to have found Julie.  I could not ask for better wife and friend to spend the rest of my days with.

Ahh ... Wisdom

Julie had her wisdom teeth taken out shortly after we started dating and her Mom, Trudy, came to help her out.  I showed up at her door with get well flowers … made quite the impression on the future Mother in Law :)

Our First Date

I was pretty shy through my teenage years (and who’s kidding, my twenties and thirties too).  Even after hanging out with Julie a bit, asking her out with her saying yes, I was having a tough time gathering courage.  The day we were to go out, I had still not set a time or place.  I was so nervous, that I avoided the subject and in turn Julie, for most of the day (still hear about that from time to time).  We went out, Ruby Tuesday, and had a nice meal.  The bill came and Julie protested, that she wanted to pay her part.  Being the strong, confident man that I was, I went ahead and split the check with her (another thing that I hear about from time to time).  Even after that stunning first impression, She went out with me again…

The First Meeting

It was move in day at James Madison University.  We were sophomores and both living in Dorm named Dentons, in downtown Harrisonburg, VA.  It was a four story building.  My room was on the second floor, Julie’s was on the third and a friend of Julie’s room was on the fourth, directly above my room.  Our door was still propped from moving in boxes and such.  All of the sudden, I hear a girl talking as she comes into our room.  I walk around the corner and see Julie for the first time.  I would like to say there was love at first sight, but first I was startled some random girl was in my apartment and second, she was going on about this gooey white liquid in her hand.  You see, she tried out some shampoo that her friend had recommended (the same friend that lived two floors directly above me), and the shampoo had seemed to be spoiled.  In her haste, she jumped on the elevator and went down, instead of up, ending up in my room.  I find out later, Julie had seen me in the parking lot, thought I was cute, which just added to the embarrassment.  Little did we know at that time, we would tell that story about a thousand more times and who knows how many times to come … 

Valentines 2014

Little is known about the details of who St. Valentine or Valentinus was.  He was martyred on February 14th 269 AD.  The popular belief is that he was killed for marrying men and women in Christian ceremonies.   In the spirit of Valentinus, I would like to share a number of things that have endeared me to my lovely bride through the years.  You see, marrying Julie is the best thing I have ever done in my life.  

Thursday, April 7, 2011

10 years

So, I made a list ...

Own a business.  Have a child.  Out of debt.  Own a dog.  Own a home. 

So, I had a list ... but I had no plan.

I was 21.  The fun was over.  Time to decide ... What do I want to be when I grow up?  I had a degree in Business ... but no job (and nothing on the horizon.)

I had a list ... but absolutely no idea how to go about accomplishing anything on it.

In a time in my life when all seemed gray and hazy, one thing was clear ... whatever was to come, be it greatness or failure, pleasant or somber, simple or foreboding ... I needed Julie by my side, in my corner, cheering me on, each step of the way.   

I have a hard time putting into words exactly what makes Julie unique to me.  I think the answer lies in our differences.  Julie loves to be with people, to talk to them and hear their stories.  I tend to hide in the crowd.  She listens and reacts to people with true empathy. That is something that has always escaped me.  She makes an impression and leaves a mark with many that she meets.  I can typically fade off without a trace.  Being a person who tends to be very private and introverted, I am left in awe at how Julie can draw people close to her and really make an impact on them.

It is a cliche, I know, but it is so true that opposites attract.  I think that it can be a truly uniting relationship when two people, who are seemingly so different, use those differences to become "whole".  "AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh." (Mark 10:8)

Julie and I hold common values; respect, caring, compassion.  I think you need to have core values in common with someone to use as a base when trying to navigate through your differences.  Now, not to mislead you, it has not been all candy canes and lolly pops.  We have had to work really hard to keep things moving in the right direction over the years.  We have maneuvered past college (where we dated for 3 years), the loss of a parent, the birth of a child at a relatively early age, crazy work schedules, moving to a new and unfamiliar city, opening a business, twins, closing a business.  But through all of that I think we are as strong a couple as ever.

Our pastor put it best when speaking about his marriage, that no matter what happens (with certain and obvious exceptions), or how bad things might be right now, you can't have an exit sign hanging over your marriage.  If you love and respect each other, and you were sincere when you spoke 'till death do part, then you should be able to handle just about anything.  I think that it helps our marriage to have this mentality.  We know we are here for the long haul.

So what else can I say?

I love my wife.  I love how she laughs.  I love how beautiful she is.  She is a wonderful mother.  She is my best friend and I can't begin to describe what that means to me.

It continues to amaze me, no matter how I may mess up, she continues to show me love and grace.  She continues to be my greatest fan and number one cheerleader.

So, I had a list ... 11years ago ... and today, 10 years since our wedding day, I still need Julie by my side, in my corner, cheering me on each step of the way.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Snow Days

It is so quiet when it snows.  It is so quiet, that if you listen real carefully, you can here the snow landing on the snow that has fallen before it.  It is so peaceful.

A lot of people believe that if you cover an alligators head with a bag or a blanket that they go to sleep.  Turns out that this is just a myth, but it does calm them down, lowers their heart rate and minimizes the amount of adrenaline that is released into their bodies.

I think a "blanket" of freshly fallen snow is God's way of calming us down, lowering our heart rate and minimizing the flow of adrenaline into our bodies.

Studies have shown that the holiday season, which we are just coming out of, for a number of reasons, is the time of year when a lot of heart attacks occur.  And also, surprisingly (or not so much, when you think about it) heart attacks occur 20% more on Mondays than any other day of the week.

So to have a Monday without the sounds of school buses, cars horns, phones ringing, text messages and e-mail chimes, but instead the sounds of children laughing, sleds sliding, and hot chocolate percolating, leads me to believe that someone dropped a blanket over the world in a way to say, relax, enjoy, no need to rush today.